I've been reading Mindful Loving by Henry Grayson. Lord, does it call me on my propensity to make decisions and react to thoughts inspired by ego. I'm realizing how dependent I've chosen to be by putting too much concern about what people think about me, about whether my beliefs will offend others, about how I need to protect others from the things about me I fear they will not like. Such self-importance! One of the lessons that has been hardest for me to incorporate is the idea that it is not important for me to prove that I am "right."
Wah! But I want to be right, to be validated, to be smart!
I texted a friend about this book and admitted how it calls us out on egotistic grandstanding from the soapbox of certainty. His reply, "I no longer wish to be right. I just want to get along." This friend makes many insightful statements that give me pause and the phrase that resonated most for me this time was "get along."
In my life experience, I've got along for years. I sacrificed my wants, my beliefs, my words in order to get along. But like any good phrase, getting along means more than one thing (also learning the power of switching perspectives). It can also mean leaving behind, getting along down the road, letting others find their paths without me feeling the need to hang out with them and silence my lessons so they will feel good about theirs. It is EGO based to think my silence is that important to another's reality, anyway.
Everyday I am learning, hopefully growing, loving, accepting, failing and trying again. Time and love are my greatest teachers...oh and silence. Lots of time and silence to carry on discourse in my head until I get to the still small voice of spirit that knows I AM that I AM. Others do not have to agree with me, and I am getting along down the road in the journey that is life.
Happy trails!
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